It’s almost time! I’ll admit I’m a bit speechless. I would love to have the perfect words to say to express all of the emotions coursing through me right now, but I’m not sure adequate ones exist.
Aside from feeling excitement, anticipation, nervousness, impatience, and many many other things, I somehow also feel at peace.
I’ve never looked forward to anything more than I’m looking forward to becoming your mama. So aside from the feelings above, I also feel ready. Not ready for seemingly endless sleepless nights. Not ready for the fear that we’ll somehow be really bad at this. Not ready for the intimidating fact that very soon your every need will be dependant upon us. But ready nonetheless. Ready to meet you. To know you. And to start our journey together.
My prayers for you have been plentiful. Some are special, some are silly. I started praying for you before I even met your daddy. I knew someday you would be here, and I prayed that God would have a special plan for you. I prayed for your timing once we were ready to have kids. And once you were “real”, I’ve prayed for your health, your security, your protection, and a safe, uneventful entry in to this world. I also pray that you’ll be a happy healthy little boy who grows up to be a successful, loving, kind hearted, Christian adult. I’ve prayed for talents, for intelligence, for a sense of humor and good looks, (I told you some were silly!) I even pray for your future wife. If she’s already out there somewhere, or if she’s just a plan in her parents mind, I pray that she grows up in a loving Christian home and that you each live your lives in a way that will some day make each other proud. Sounds a bit excessive, I know. But I can’t help but want the best for you.
Now as I’m sitting in the hospital, listening to your heartbeat, we’ve come to the end of the pregnancy. I will dearly miss feeling your sweet kicks, punches and rolls. But those special moments will be replaced with seeing your smile, memorizing your face, hearing your laugh, and listening in as you find your voice. There will be first falls, first steps, first bruises. First friends, first loves, and first heartbreaks. First cars, first jobs, first homes. A whole lifetime of firsts lies ahead of you.
But for now, let’s focus on a few special ones that are in both of our near futures. I look forward to seeing and holding you for the first time.
Not much longer now. See you very very soon!
Love – Mama