This one will be a bit somber. But hang with me.
I read a blog recently that made me cry. .:Don’t click that link unless you, too, want to cry:.
I read blogs during lunch. Sometimes I post my own entry, more often I read those of other people. I enjoy reading about growing kiddos, seeing pictures, hearing mothers gush about their babies. I read some that aren’t about babies too. Home improvement, crafts, etc.
But Wednesday I stumbled on to a post about trying to understand why bad things happen. And it linked up with several heart wrenching stories about loss, illness, suffering, infertility and heartbreak. I knew I shouldn’t keep reading, but I couldn’t stop. I was drawn in by the emotions pouring off the screen of these hurting mamas. Soon, I was flat out bawling at my desk. Warm tears literally puddled by my keyboard.
This happened not long after I posted an entry about you sleeping through the night for the first time. Suddenly my post seemed so trivial. Their stories were so raw, so real. I wanted to go home and hold you immediately. They reminded me that I do not want to ever take you for granted. A fact which I already knew.
I realize my updates on here are about things like how long you slept, how you play, or how tired I am. Soon it will morph in to your favorite toys, new physical milestones, or whether or not you like sweet potatoes. But I also realize how absolutely fortunate I am that I can revel in the mundane. I’m eternally grateful that when it comes to you, I have the freedom and the luxury to spend time thinking about what you will wear today, how many diapers you have dirtied, and whether you went 3 or 4 hours in between feedings.
The fact that I babble endlessly about these trivial matters does not for one second mean that I don’t fully appreciate what a miracle and a blessing you are, and how fortunate we are to have you in our lives. And I hope that appreciation comes across to the readers.
More importantly, I hope that appreciation and love comes across to YOU. I pray that your not quite two month old heart can already feel the love and devotion felt for you when you are in my arms. I hope that when you’re 1, 6, 14, 25, 39, and 55 that you will always be sure of one thing…no matter what else is going on in your life…you are absolutely, endlessly, and unconditionally loved by your mama.