For starters, it is a game of chance, not skill. And I beat him fair and square. But that’s not the point of this post. The point is…why didn’t I let him win?
Because life isn’t always a smooth path to the candy castle. That’s why.
There have been plenty of times that I would have loved to skip over some of the path, take two turns in a row, or jump straight to whatever the real life equivalent of the ice cream cone spot is. But life doesn’t work that way. It would be even better if every time I cried and pouted I got what I wanted, but I’ve tried that and it doesn’t work.
We’re growing up and raising our kids in a world of no score no win games.
Who won? Doesn’t matter, you had fun.
Everyone needs equal playing time.
Let’s all be in charge.
We’re all the best.
I agree there’s a time and a place for that. And sometimes…it is important that everyone participates and goes home a winner.
But at some point you are in the real world and you realize that was all a lie. You are probably not the best, probably not in charge, you have to earn your chances. And…brace yourself…not everyone wins every time.
Am I suggesting he should be a cut throat competitor who destroys everyone in his path? Absolutely not.
But I do think there is an important life lesson in learning to lose gracefully. In following the rules even though cheating would help you win. In realizing how sweet a victory is when you worked hard for it and got it honestly. In being compassionate to others when their fate isn’t quite so sweet. In making an effort worth being proud of regardless of outcome. And in building real confidence in a healthy way, without handing them everything with a ribbon on it.
Before you think I’m cruel…I have let him “win” before. Like in a foot race to brush his teeth. (Really, I’m winning then too, ha.) And before you think he’s a super mature kid who understands some of life’s most challenging concepts…he still pouts about losing sometimes.
But if I can help it…some day this boy will know both victory and defeat, and that win or lose, you can always behave like a champion.
Ashley Rose said:
I completely agree! It sounds like you were a rifle shooter or something 😉
Kathleen Davis said:
I agree 100 %. We all need to learn to win & lose gracefully. I feel pretty awful sometimes with my grandkids but they have to learn to follow the rules.
Amen Melody! Paula was never a let win child (that I can remember, too many years gone by) and I think she is a better adult for that! She learned to stand her ground early in life.
Nancy Nelson said:
Your a great Mom
Wish everyone could learn its OK to loose
It’s also ok to work hard or not and win
Reblogged this on Waiting on God and commented:
Melody, Very well said. Period.
Sheila Blevins said:
You are NOT a “mean mommy”. You are teaching your child values when and where they should be learned. I think one of the biggest mistakes we (as a society) are making is the “everyone gets a trophy” mentality.
And when he beats you fair and square – it will be all the sweeter for Karson. You go, Mom!
AMEN and AMEN!
I love your philosophy! If more of us practiced that, we would all be in much better shape. Keep going with your heart for obviously God resides there and He is steering your path. God bless you and your lovely family this new year!