Back to Work
The fact I’m going back to work at all may come as a shock to some of you. We have 3 kids, including two infants. And those infants are special little guys. How could I possibly leave?
There are several things that have helped this be the clear decision, even though it wasn’t an easy one.
1) For my own mental health. I’m a career kind of gal. I actually enjoy my spreadsheets, numbers, analysis, adult interaction, deadlines, and goals. So in order to give the boys the best me I can be, I need this. That’s a selfish one, but it is true.
2) Financially it is a moot point. J has benefits. I’ll mostly be earning retirement money and paying for day care. But I won’t be going in the hole.
3) Speaking of day care, we would want K there anyway. We would need an option for when the babies have appointments. Plus I feel he gets better school prep, and better social interaction there than he would at home. Especially since my focus would be on the babies. So with that in mind…financially it is NOT a moot point. Sacrificing my income AND paying for day care for K would take away income from the family that we need for rising medical bills and day to day living.
4) The boys are pretty simple. We were worried about feeding tubes, shunts, swelling brains. For now…they are just babies. Babies who need basic care. Which means for now, someone else could take care of them. It might be different if we were doing therapy all day, or acute care. But for now, I’m just changing diapers, feeding babies, and washing bottles. We can outsource that part. We also happen to know that they will be in loving hands. Those same hands help us with K, and we trust them to help us with L and N now as well.
5) We can make the most of our evenings. It will take some effort and coordination, but I feel we can accomplish as much in the evenings and weekends as I’m accomplishing with the boys now. I have a routine that involves stretching, and some ‘exercising’, and that will continue. It will just be done in the evening instead of in the afternoon.
6) I’ve made a commitment not to treat them as if they are dying. Not to make their life about death. And if there were no Lissencephaly, I would have gone to work without question. So…having me sitting at home wondering how much longer they have isn’t good for any of us.
I will just be an employee AND a mom. And hopefully perform well at both.
Hi Ho! Hi Ho!