We are having a yard sale. That sounds normal enough at first. Toys, high chairs, jumpers, tons of clothes. Purging items you can no longer use is a very normal thing. Except, nothing feels normal about this at all.
You see, there are two high hairs. One of which K spent countless meals in. The other was a hand me down from friends that matched perfectly. And we never even used it. There’s the jumper K loved, and grew in through two houses. And the second one I bought as a hopeful Christmas present for the boys. Never used. Toys that are age appropriate for the twins right now. Toys they should be riding and pushing around the house. But we know we won’t use them, and that the space is better used for other items. And then there are the clothes. Tubs and tubs of every single item any of the three boys ever wore. I planned to pick out a few favorites from each size. But I quickly realized every item I could remember them in was my favorite. And how can I get rid of items knowing that some day, I will wish I could hold these very items in my hand and take in their smell, their softness, and remember?
Thankfully, my memories aren’t constrained by cotton. But I will admit to you that this has been hard. I’m admitting it not because I want sympathy. But because somewhere out there one of you is probably hanging on to something, and trying to figure out how and when to let go.
And I guess the point I’m trying to convey to both of us is the memories aren’t just in the things. Clinching tighter doesn’t keep the sand from falling through your fingers. And putting everything in the “keep” pile doesn’t make time stand still or today become yesterday.
That said, I still have a keep pile. And I will on occasion get the items out for a chance to reflect. And when I do, a couple of the special items will have a tear on them from that time I had a yard sale. And a million memories sewn in.
The memories will always be there planted in that wonderful heart of yours, those great snapshots and all the love you have received from each boy!
Your an amazing mommy!!
Today is a “Yard Sale”, tomorrow is a “New Day!” Each time the boys smile, whimper, yell, or just look at you, is a memory locked in your hearts!!! Love u!!
The memories are great and truly the most important part! It was suggested to me that a great way to use those outfits I loved in a practical way was to turn them into a quilt. Time consuming event but I know there are a couple local shops here (in WV) that will allow you to drop off the clothes and will quilt it for you. Might be something of use to you as well if a local shop is able to do it or you quilt. All 3 of your boys are precious! Thanks for sharing them with us!
That is my plan some day! Not ready yet, but that’s why I tried to pull out some colorful favorites.
Don’t feel bad about getting rid of that Ohio State stuff =)