Along with the 3rd birthday, and pre-school meetings, come plenty of questions about the boys’ history, skills, and gaps. If you’ve ever had to fill out one of those “can your child…” questionnaires at the routine doctor checkups, you know that when you have to say “no” to one of them it can be hard. Maybe it is something they should be doing but aren’t. Maybe it is something you hadn’t even thought to try to teach them. Maybe you’re a first time parent or maybe you’re an experienced parent but either way this skill isn’t coming easy.
Imagine saying “no” to ALL of those questions. And knowing that very few of those “yes” boxes have a realistic shot of ever being checked.
It can wear on you if you let it.
I think I’ve landed in a healthy place regarding the boys’ abilities. I spend very little time worrying about what they are not, or what they can’t do. They are who they are and the fact their ability level is different isn’t a source of stress anymore. But it can still make answering developmental questions hard.
A recent evening, I was completing a phone call for the pre-school social assessment for the boys, and one of the final questions for each boy was what their greatest strength was. After very little hesitation, I knew the answer. Spreading joy. I could hear her smile over the phone as she agreed after her recent interaction with them. Full of smiles that day, Landon and Nolan both brought joy in to the room, and sent it home with everyone they touched.
We’ll keep working on grasping, head control, name recognition, and purposeful movement. And if we make ground on those things that will be lovely. But even if we don’t – the boys’ greatest skill, their life’s purpose, is still being fulfilled. Keep spreading joy, Landon and Nolan, for there may be no greater skill in existence.